Close Call

Sorry about the abrupt close the other night.  Like I explained the first time I wrote I do this thing late at night.  So the other night as I was about to tell you what else happened in January I heard a noise coming from the hallway.  I went to hide thinking daddy was really gonna let me have it for sneaking out of my crib, but thankfully it was just Nana-ssippi.  She's staying with us since mommy's been working day and night (even at bed time) all the way in Georgia.  Anywho, Nana-ssippi and I just talked for a bit, and just before we both went to sleep I dragged her into a little fun.  I had her put me back in my crib and then hide in the closet.  I started to fake cry until daddy came in, and then the contest was on for who could hold their laughter the longest as daddy stumbled around in the dark with only bed head and a pair of skivvies. I didn't make him suffer too long, but Nana-ssippi and I have been laughing about it since.

But back to January and where I left off.....

So you'll never believe what else happened...

It's the Saturday before daddy's birthday and all the hype is about the old man.  So I figured, I'd just take a little time off of doing the normal super-cute-baby things that steal all of mom's attention, and let the guy have a couple days of glory.

Thing is when being super-cute is just part of being normal, it's hard to just turn it off.

Turns out mommy was using daddy's b-day as a ruse to get my guard down.  I think we're going out to the store to get daddy a sucker or something, and the next thing I know I'm strapped into a chair and have a blanket strung around my neck.  Then some complete stranger is coming at me with shiny blades and tugging on my mane.  Next she breaks out some buzzing contraption that seems to have automated the amputation of my sweet locks.  Needless to say, I was pretty much freaking out...

"Listen lady, you may have the weapons, but I'm not going down without a fight."

"I've got the rest of my life to be 'all business'.  I want the party back, in the back."

"I'm gonna break that camera if  you don't put it away."

So, yeah... I had a pretty rough go of it.  But you know, the more I look at myself in the mirror, the more I'm adjusting. And, turns out... still super-cute.

Memories

I've heard mommy and daddy talk about needing to update the blog, but each time I check it... NOTHIN'!  My guess is the few of you who might check this site have been thinking the same thing.  Thing is I know those two are busy... I'm a big part of keeping them that way.  But there's a few things that have happened in the last month, that if I don't write it down, I'm sure to forget (I may not have the memory problem of some of you older readers, but Moxley's told me that he's already forgotten almost everything about being my age).  While I'd like mommy and daddy to do the record keeping for me... if they won't, I guess I'll have to take the responsibility on myself.

Here's a bit of what happened since last time...

Cousin Saylor hooked me and Mox up with two pair of matching jammies.  It's awesome 'cause when we wear the matching pair mommy and daddy have no idea who's who.  Mox filled in for me in the high chair for a bit, and I got to stay up late one night.

Mommy and Daddy can't tell us apart... but if you look close it's like Moxley always says,
"He's handsome and I'm cute."
Oh wait, if Moxley's saying it, he says, "I'm handsome and he's cute."
Great, now I'm confused as to who's who.

One day I woke up from my little noon time nod to Moxley hollering about daddy building what he thought had to be our very own slide... NOPE!  Much to our wonder, our daddy couldn't figure out how to complete a slide, so we ended up with a scoot.

"I'm supposed to do... what?"

"Yeah daddy,  you're right the bright colors do make this more exciting than just dragging myself across the kitchen floor!"
"No... no.. I'm not being sarcastic."

So you'll never believe what else happened...

Twenty. One. Two.

Wanted to post a couple pictures from Christmas-time and I'll follow up soon with some words.

What's better than Words with Friends?

Parades with Friends!

Ahhh... the time honored routine of dressing them up and attempting to take a good photograph.
Difficulty Rating (DR):
3 year old  + 1 year old = 8 DR
3 y.o. + 1 y.o. x 5 cousins eating cookies in the next room = 1,000,000 DR
Oh well.

Judah's pulling off four of my favorite things

1. Jeans

2. Argyle

3. Kicking back on the couch

4. Contemplating how it is that I am he is so good looking. 

Ever since we dated, Angie expressed that she wanted to bestow upon a son a name that I just couldn't buy into.  You see, the moniker she wanted to give is one that to me seems a bit out of our class.  Now if we were a family of "old-money", I'd probably go with it, because we'd have so much money it wouldn't matter for the child.  But since we haven't got old-money, or even new-money for that matter, I figured giving a kid a name like this would either make him a snob, get him beat up, or both.   But it would seem that somehow in capturing this picture of Moxley, combining the open collared with a sweater vest, surrounded by Christmas presents galore, and a smile that is straight out of the country club catalog, maybe she's had her little guy all along...

Wellington Conrad Hansford III
(I think I'm on a pretty safe limb in guessing that there's never been a Wellington Conrad Hansford the first, but she was insistent on including "the third" suffix.  Richie Rich, eat your heart out! $$$)

Big Boy Birthday!

The obligatory statement at birthday time is "I can't believe it's already been 3 years."  Truth is though, I can't. It honestly seems like a week ago that I was kicked back in a hospital recliner watching Jeopardy on television while Angie and some hospital personnel were busy doing something.  All the commotion in the room that night really ruined my concentration, and I remember getting at least 4 questions wrong just because I forgot to answer in the form of a question.  By the time the Final Jeopardy question was posted, as you might imagine, I was pretty upset that Angie and her crew weren't keeping the noise down, and yet I was getting the sense that she was upset with me.  WOMEN?!?

Turns out, a short 50 minutes after the worst Jeopardy round of my life (thanks in no small part to all the distractions) we welcomed our little Moxley into the world, and honestly, I've not had the chance to watch the famed game show uninterrupted one night since.

With Moxley turning three this week, I'm certain that his inquiring mind will only increase in it's desire to learn more about the world, his parents, and everything else.  This all feeds into my master plan of developing my very own Jeopardy Champion, so when he asks, I'll be answering in the form of a question.

"LOOK AT ME!  I'M THREE!"

Cake Boss, meet The Queen of Cakes

With Angie presenting the Birthday cake with candles aflame we started to sing Happy Birthday...

Either we've got bad voices, or Moxley didn't like being the center of attenion.

There's a debate about water-boarding as torture.
It's settled that the quartet of Judah, Angie, Nana, and me requires no debate. 

I wish to be able blow out the candles again.

and again...

Angie seriously re-lit the candles no less than 10 times.
 (By the next day when he asked for a candle on a leftover slice of cake, she dug out a self re-lighting candle.  It was a hit.)

Big Smile + Messy Face = Awesome Cake

Besides showing off Angie's mad cake designing skills, there's good money in food photography...

Truth is though, I think it's the cake in this case that's making my photography look so good. 

If we'd known that Moxley would have gotten such a kick out of blowing out his birthday cake candles so many times, you can bet that I'd of pushed to save some money on gifts and opted instead to buy a couple 89 cent boxes of candles for him to blow until he hyperventilated and forgot about presents all together.  Another unfortunate circumstance for Judah, as we've learned this with our first born and will save money the second time around.

Happy Birthday Moxley, with this kitchen you get to bake your own cakes from now on.
"What do you mean there's no Lucky Charms" said a disappointed Judah.

Oooohhh! Sweet!

And the award for Largest Gift in the Wrapped Category goes to.....
 Nana!

When asked why he worked so much to fully unwrap the gift before getting at the toys he said,
"There's only 4 weeks to Christmas, I need all the practice I can get."

Tonka: making little boys, BIG boys for 56 years

Judah impersonating Mommy strutting her stuff at Target.

Best Western

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure my dad's generation grew up on the classic western flicks of yore.  Until recently I had a Clint Eastwood box set of his, and I've heard him refer to going to Vietnam thinking he'd be John Wayne (and quickly realized that the bullets were real and he wasn't on a Hollywood set).   I think I'm right in remembering that Mel was a fan of the old westerns too, and I'm know I'm right in remembering he was fond of a western style shirt (a fondness we definitely shared).  I don't see a whole lot of these movies coming out of Hollywood these days (without Aliens at least.  What the...?), and I doubt there's even been a pilot pitched to the television networks based in the genre since the Lone Ranger was cancelled.

My guess would be that this absence of the western is due to a number of factors, with the main one being character development.  The cowboys of our cinematic past were heroic and strong but mostly silent, allowing their good looks and gun-slingin' to win our hearts.  Nowadays, we want to know some back story.  We want to know the inner pain that brought them to this place of solitude, bent on justice for the commoners while just barely skirting the law themselves.

Well, H525 productions is in the works to give you just such a story...

It starts by showing a young Indian brave burying his beloved horse.  Despite the tribe moving on, the young brave, Ju-Ju lingers at the grave site until his tribe is long out of sight.  It's at that time, he hears some rustling of leaves.

Oh no! 
Someone come this way... I all alone... no horse... no bow... no, no, NO! 

As the stranger gets closer, Ju-Ju has identified him as a cowboy and Ju-Ju gets scared.  But, something's different about this cowboy.  He seems upset...

"Losing my dog was one thing, but now Quickster, my horse?!?!  
What will I ever do without Quickster?!"

Thankfully for Ju-Ju the Indian brave, the cowboy has not only been narrating his problems out loud, but Ju-Ju understands English (although he can only speak it, in a broken, stilted Hollywood-indianese sort of way). So understanding the pain of the cowboy, Ju-Ju steps out to introduce himself and sympathize in his loss.

"Sir, I Ju-Ju.  
Me know..dead horse... make heart sad."

Startled and embarassed, the cowboy tries to deny his sadness, but soon realizes, he's been to loud in his whining sorrow.  Sheepishly, he asks...

"What do you know about losing a horse?"

"Me.. just buried mine... Hasty...  here... today!"

The cowboy knowing that an Indian should be his enemy, struggles with the conflict of his emotions over the sad (broken, stilted, Hollywood-indianese) story he's just heard and the battle raging within him for caring about young Ju-Ju's pain.  Struggling, he can't contain himself any longer, again thinking about his own fallen horse...

"QUICKSTER!"

 Anyway, that's just the beginning... you know before even the title pops up.  The title of course would be Cowboy and Indian: BFF!

Happy Belated Halloween.


November: So Far

Leaves

"What am I gonna do... I just lost a contact!" 

You may think that Mommy raked a pile for us to play in. Nope... our whole yard is this deep." 

I may commission more photos to be taken from this angle, with this lighting, with the leaves changing in the background.  It makes me look pretty grandiose.

Miscellaneous

Judah recently decided that he'd like to learn more about the meaning of his forename.  He's done his research and learned that it means "Praise" and is of Hebrew origins.  With the Holiday season ramping up, he also discovered that Hanukkah begins before Christmas and lasts a whole eight days.  He thought that perhaps by donning an imitation yamaka we might be fooled into some additional gifts.

"Seriously Momma, I'd like a dradle"

"What??? There was still some mac-n-cheese in there?  Oy Vey!"

Fortunately, the cheese came off easier than the yellow stain of a millipede's guts that Judah squished out all over his hand just before dinner time.  Angie was so grossed out, there was no time to run and get my camera (a photographer without his camera is no photographer at all).

Finally, we've not ever done any advertising on our humble blog site; sure we could use the extra money, but we do this for the love of the art of blogging, not for the money (unless some random reader out there would pay us to continue to do this, in which case... call my people (me)).  So it's with a heavy heart that we place an advertisement to finish out this post.  Thing is, I don't think it gave the intended impression of it's designers when it came across the eyes of our young Moxley.

Said with a tangible tone of concern in his voice:
"Mommy, is that a poo-poo tower?"

Catching Up

Chapter 3
The Out of Towners

This is the final chapter of the compelling internet drama - Catching Up.  In truth, I got to thinking that if something is posted here, particularly if there are pictures, it is something that we are catching you, our readers up on.  It would seem then, that titles are not my strong suit.

Anywho... the weekend after our big journey to the opposite corner of our fair state we had the pleasure of welcoming some family into our humble hometown.  The Handwerker Trio took to the highways and pulled into Greenville early Friday evening the 7th of October. I thought perhaps they had come just to congratulate Angie and I on completing another week of work.  That, or as often as my Mom has been over this way recently, perhaps Allison thought she might be able to wish her a happy Birthday in person.

Turns out they just wanted to see us... and by "they" I mean Saylor, and by "us" I mean Mox and Judah.  Truth is us parents are just pawns in the grand scheme our children have cooked up for us.  We're just playing their game.

Handwerker Helper
Two hands... two boys... One happy family.

"Aunt Allison, whatever it is you're getting me tickling me with doesn't look safe."

"OOOHHH! Mommy, Aunt Allison was just getting me with a leaf?  She's so crazy!"

Instead of using his legs to walk, Judah enjoys putting them to use kicking his dad in the backside.

In the light of day, the Children of the Corn aren't scary at all.

"I kinda like the whole bug eyed look...

... but pink just ain't my thing."

Two Men, Two Maps... Double Trouble

Angie and the two-headed Hansford.

Who needs a gym membership?  

The catwalks of New York and Milan have nothing on the beauty on display in the corn paths of  South Carolina.

I wonder who's use to being the center of attention?

We lost Allison somewhere along the way, but 6 out of 7 finishing the maze isn't too bad.

Joy Ride.

"So there I was, staring down this twelve pointer... I take aim and  wouldn't you know it... I only had a Nerf gun.  Uncle Dean you gotta tell my Daddy to get the real thing."

Cousins by birth... Friends by choice.

We're two Wild and Crazy Guys.

"I think you're gonna need some help picking up that apple Moxley."
(note: Judah calls pumpkins (and almost everything else) apples.)

"These South Carolina apples are much bigger than the ones in North Carolina"
(Note: Again, Judah calls pumpkins (and most everything else) apples.  Give the kid a break he's only 1 for goodness sake.)

My sister's daughter the motherly type?  No way! Who would have ever guessed that?

Downtown Greenville's never seen a gang of thugs this tough before.

Will these moms survive, or be ready to jump off the bridge?
Tune in next time for an all new Kid Swap!

Because it produces that giant smile, Moxley's logged more time airborne than most jump masters.

And the smile comes out when he gets to spread his wings and  dive bomb his momma too.

Judah doesn't quite get the concept of wings, but he knows if Moxley enjoys it it's got to be fun.

"Apple?"
(Seriously, he says Apple a lot.)

Family by birth... Best-friends by choice.

"Mom, I think you were right when you said the crazy comes from Dad's side of the family."

Behind every great man is a strong woman.

"Aunt Angie... Can I keep him?"